Hi Drew, welcome.
umm, I've only read this so don't take it as gospel, but once a flower has been pollinated it is natural for the flower to shrivel. After a few days you should also see the stigma swells, ie the part of the flower where you have put the pollen to polinate the flower. After a few days more the ovary is then suppose to swell. If the latter happens then the flower has accepted the pollen mass. However, this doesn't necessarily guarantee success. The seed capsule may develop and then still have seeds which are infertile (this could be because you have 'selfed' the plant).
It is generally better to use pollen from another plant but if there are none to be had, well then you will have to use what is available.
Hope that helps.