Shop Orchid Care OrchidTalk Orchid Forum Weather Station Links Nursery

Welcome to OrchidTalk Orchid Forums


The Friendliest Orchid Community on the Internet!


  •  » Learn to Repot your Orchids
  •  » Learn Orchid Care Tips and Secrets
  •  » Find the perfect Orchid for your Growing Environment
  •  » Chat with Orchid Growing Professionals

OrchidTalk - "Bringing People Together to Grow Orchids Better!"


Let us help you grow your Orchids better; Join our community today.


YES! I want to register an account for free right now!


Register or Login now to remove this advertisement.

Results 1 to 8 of 8

For you cat & dog servants ... er, owners

This is a discussion on For you cat & dog servants ... er, owners within the The Outback Terrace Bar forums, part of the Land Plants category; To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height. Dear Dogs and ...

Click here to increase the font size Click here to reduce the font size
  1. #1
    pavel's Avatar
    pavel is offline change is the only constant
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    whatever will bloom
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    8,643
    Member's Country Flag
    Recipes
    3

    Default For you cat & dog servants ... er, owners

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats:

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
    dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
    me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
    Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
    miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendanceis not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
    cannot stress this enough! To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:


    1 They live here. You don't.

    2. If you don' t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)

    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
    they:

    1. Eat less

    2. Don't ask for money all the time

    3. Are easier to train

    4. Normally come when called

    5. Never ask to drive the car

    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

    7. Don't smoke or drink

    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

    9. Don't want to wear your clothes

    10. Don't need a 'gazillion' dollars for college.

    And finally,


    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
    Last edited by pavel; March 19th, 2008 at 02:21 PM.

  2. #2
    Kerry's Avatar
    Kerry is offline Too much to learn, let alone re-member!
    My Grow Area
    Windowsill
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    Phals, Vandas, Catts, Paphs
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    South West London
    Posts
    1,318
    Member's Country Flag

    Default

    That is very good!

  3. #3
    Gin's Avatar
    Gin
    Gin is offline Senior Member
    My Grow Area
    Greenhouse
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    All types
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    4,831
    Member's Country Flag

    Default

    How true ! that is priceless .. gin

  4. #4
    Molly Taco's Avatar
    Molly Taco is offline Re-member WHAT ??
    Real Name
    Cin
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    Catts
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    SW FL
    Posts
    4,740
    Member's Country Flag

    Default

    That is very true, I think that I will print it out!
    Cin

  5. #5
    Elena's Avatar
    Elena is offline Senior Member
    My Grow Area
    Windowsill
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    839

  6. #6
    ischel1's Avatar
    ischel1 is offline Senior Member
    Real Name
    Mary
    My Grow Area
    Greenhouse
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    Cattleya William Farrell
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Gulf Coast
    Posts
    3,141
    Member's Country Flag

  7. #7
    cindiras's Avatar
    cindiras is offline Senior Member
    Real Name
    Cindi
    My Grow Area
    Under Lights
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    Catts
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Central Iowa
    Posts
    1,766
    Member's Country Flag

    Default

    I'd show that to my birds, but it might give them ideas!

  8. #8
    Brutal_Dreamer's Avatar
    Brutal_Dreamer is online now Dreaming with my eyes open...
    Real Name
    Bruce Brown
    My Grow Area
    Greenhouse
    Favorite Orchid(s)
    Cattleyas & Slippers
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Arkansas
    Posts
    34,003
    Member's Country Flag

    Default

    That is so funn, Paul!! I love it. I am going to forward it to all of my friends with indoor pets. I especially love the note about " If you don' t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)" heheheh.. I laughed out loud when I read that one. We have two cats in the house now and lots of cat hair. hehe...

    Cheers,
    BD

Similar Threads

  1. Why Cats attack their owners
    By MikeWA in forum A Kodak Moment: not necessarily plants...
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: April 28th, 2005, 12:48 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
OrchidTalk --An Orchid Growers Discussion Forum brought to you by River Valley Orchidworks. A World Community where orchid beginners and experts talk about orchids and share tips on their care, cultivation, and propagation.