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What your pets really think....

This is a discussion on What your pets really think.... within the The Outback Terrace Bar forums, part of the Land Plants category; Subject: EXCERPTS FROM A PETS DIARY Excerpts from a Dog's Diary * 8:00 am - ...

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  1. #1
    Diane's Avatar
    Diane is offline Can't Re-Member
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    Default What your pets really think....

    Subject: EXCERPTS FROM A PETS DIARY


    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

    * 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    * 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    * 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    * 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    * 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    * 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    * 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    * 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    * 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    * 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    * 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
    fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
    the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
    order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
    dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
    clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
    placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
    I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
    confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
    this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
    this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
    seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
    the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
    captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
    so he is safe. For now . . .


  2. #2
    clintdawley's Avatar
    clintdawley is offline Wrapped in metal..wrapped in ivy...
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    Default

    Yep. I'm a cat person and I totally agree!

  3. #3
    Brutal_Dreamer's Avatar
    Brutal_Dreamer is offline Dreaming with my eyes open...
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    too funny!

    Cheers,
    BD

  4. #4
    Phyrex's Avatar
    Phyrex is offline .CA-member-t
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    Oh my I think I've hurt my tummy ROFL

  5. #5
    Molly Taco's Avatar
    Molly Taco is offline Re-member WHAT ??
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    Yup That is a cat for ya.
    Cin

  6. #6
    GiovannaD is offline Senior Member
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    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Definately fits the profile of my angora cat. Especially when it comes to planning his escape (I fear the day he evolves into a cat with tool skills) and punishing me with vomit on places most likely to stain permanently.

  7. #7
    ischel1's Avatar
    ischel1 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh Diane, that was too funny. I'm still laughing!

  8. #8
    Tmai's Avatar
    Tmai is offline Ya'll are funnin' me!
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    What a hoot! Yes, you can see it in their eyes. The plotting........

    Great post!
    Tami

  9. #9
    SuZCC's Avatar
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    I am totally LMAO!!!
    I love cats and dogs and would have both if I could. I have 2 cats and yes, you can tell, they are plotting!

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