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A little thread to lighten up your day :)

This is a discussion on A little thread to lighten up your day :) within the The Outback Terrace Bar forums, part of the Land Plants category; I have seen some damn funny jokes at school and on other places on the ...

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  1. #1
    kiwiorchids's Avatar
    kiwiorchids is offline Plant Nut
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    Default A little thread to lighten up your day :)

    I have seen some damn funny jokes at school and on other places on the net lol
    So i decided to share some, and hopefully get some in reply so others can have a laugh!

    Feel free to add and take jokes as you want and funny pics too, they never hurt lol

  2. #2
    kiwiorchids's Avatar
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    heres a good one.....

    A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt and it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found him...self assigned to the toughest class in the school.
    Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.
    While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class become more and more unmanageable.
    Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
    Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.

  3. #3
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    Good one Jordan. Now why didn't I think of that when I was teaching.

  4. #4
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    funny stuff, Jordan. I am afraid it would not phase some of my students though... hahaha....

    Cheers,
    BD

  5. #5
    kiwiorchids's Avatar
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    lol here is another one i think they are ALL very smart! they also teach us (i think lol) to have a laugh at ourselves once in a whil

    Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'


    The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.


    'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.


    The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.


    Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.


    At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, ' Dis looks like a grand place..'


    He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.


    Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.


    Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat.
    Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'

    THERE'S MORE. ..


    Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.


    He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.


    'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.


    He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

    He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.


    Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.


    Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone
    in his body.


    Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'


    IT IS NOT OVER YET....


    Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.


    He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.


    Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

    Once more Paddy shakes his head.


    'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'

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