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Results 1 to 7 of 7
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  • 7 Post By cdayinflorida
  • 1 Post By Brutal_Dreamer
  • 1 Post By otis226
  • 1 Post By espranch
  • 1 Post By Cjcorner
  • 1 Post By cdayinflorida

Funny stuff found on the internet...

This is a discussion on Funny stuff found on the internet... within the The Outback Terrace Bar forums, part of the Land Plants category; Fed up of using the same old forum signature? Here are a few that might ...

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  1. #1
    cdayinflorida's Avatar
    cdayinflorida is offline Senior Member
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    Cathy
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    Default Funny stuff found on the internet...

    Fed up of using the same old forum signature? Here are a few that might make you laugh.
    ----------------------------------------------
    Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

    Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?

    Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

    I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

    We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

    Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

    He who laughs last thinks slowest!

    Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

    "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"

    Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

    Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

    Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

    I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

    What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

    "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

    Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

    Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

    I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

    Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

    The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

    We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

    All generalizations are false.

    Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

    C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

  2. #2
    Brutal_Dreamer's Avatar
    Brutal_Dreamer is online now Dreaming with my eyes open...
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    Bruce Brown
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    Default

    haha good stuff!

    cheers,
    BD

  3. #3
    otis226's Avatar
    otis226 is offline Senior Member
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    Tony
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    ...and one of my personal favs, 'Too bad ignorance isn't painful'. Now I gotta go get some Tee shirts printed
    Tony

  4. #4
    espranch is offline Senior Member
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    Betty
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    Yup! I like that last one. And, by the way...You can't "fix" stupid![QUOTE=otis226;257028]...and one of my personal favs, 'Too bad ignorance isn't painful'. Now I gotta go get some Tee shirts printed
    Tony
    [/QUOTE]

  5. #5
    Cjcorner's Avatar
    Cjcorner is offline Senior Member
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    Connie
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    Porch/Patio.
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    Mini Vanda, Schombs &Encyclia.
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    West of Tampa, FL
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    One of my favorite t-shirts says "Bad Tourist, Go Home". I get a ton of comments on it around town. lol Your list was great! I'm the one that stands at the stores with the smart alec t-shirt sayings and reads them one by one.

  6. #6
    cdayinflorida's Avatar
    cdayinflorida is offline Senior Member
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    Funny Tech Support Calls:

    Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
    Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
    Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
    Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
    Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
    Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '24X' on it."

    At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off.


    Hello, tech support.

    Yes, sir. I bought one of those CD recorder things made by your company and I can't get it installed.

    Well, if you aren't used to opening your computer, you could ask the store you purchased it from if they can install it for you.

    I didn't want it in a computer. I'm trying to hook it up to the stereo in the pick-up truck. It looks like it would fit in the dash, but I can't figure the wiring out.

  7. #7
    cdayinflorida's Avatar
    cdayinflorida is offline Senior Member
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    Cathy
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    Greenhouse
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    Vandaceous
    Join Date
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    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Customer: “I’ve read all of the Twilight books. I love them! Has Stephenie Meyer done anything else?”

    Me: “Yes, she wrote another book called The Host.”

    Customer: “Great! I didn’t see any other books where the Twilight series is, though.”

    Me: “This one is actually shelved in science fiction. I’ll show you.”

    Customer: “Science fiction?! Why?”

    Me: “Well, she didn’t write it for the young adult section. Plus, given the subject matter I guess that’s what made the most sense.”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with the subject matter?”

    Me: “Nothing. It’s about an alien, so–”

    Customer: “Wait, an alien?! So…there are no vampires?”

    Me: “No, not in this one.”

    Customer: “Forget it. I only read vampire books these days. Aliens are just too unrealistic.”

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