Greenhouse Kit Fever

I am sure I am not the only one who experienced "greenhouse kit fever" when we built our greenhouses for the first time.

The symptoms are all too familiar:
Stage 1: We see a beautiful picture of a "naked" greenhouse complete with plants inside and the model was happily working inside under direct sun.
*** Little did we know that the model probably was hospitalized for heatstroke after the photo shoot and all the plants were chucked since they were toasted beyond saving.

2. We buy the greenhouse kit and suddenly there is a big dent in our bank account.

3. The kit arrives and we are filled with a sense of dread as the crew unloads box after box in what seems to be an infinite march of movers.

4. We finally complete the construction and everything looks just like the picture on the advertisement.
*** But something is amiss.

5. The greenhouse is too hot at daytime!, even in the middle of february. The plants are roasting inside.

6. We do our research and find out what we need some form of shade material to protect the inhabitants from direct sun.
"Shade cloth? But the advertisement picture did not show any shade cloth!"

7. We purchase the said shade material. But it still gets too hot.

8. We do more research and find out what we might need an exhaust fan. "What? but the picture did not show any exhaust fans".

9. We then buy an exhaust fan and think everything is ok. But wait, something is still missing. There are still hot spots in the GH despite the exhaust fan.

10. We do more research and find out we might need an HAF, or two or three. We then do some more research to find out what the heck an HAF is.
"HAFs? But the picture! the picture!"

11. So we grudgingly get HAFs and finally everything feels right inside the greenhouse. Its not getting too hot and the interior is no longer burning under the sun.

12. But... Come winter the interior gets too darned cold.

13. Back to the internet we go to find out that we need to insulate the panels with bubble wrap and get a reliable heater.
***By this time you already grabbed that beautiful picture of the greenhouse and ripped it to shreds because YOUR greenhouse now looks nothing like that supermodel greenhouse in the magazine.

14. So after all the dust settles, we FINALLY get to enjoy the greenhouse. So we go inside to calm our nerves and lower our blood pressure.
*** Little did we realize that there really was no net lowering of blood pressure. We only think that way because our blood pressure shot up so high during steps 2 through 13 and it is just getting back down to where it started.

Happy Growing,
John

LOLOL!!! Actually, you articulated many thoughts I'd had after reading all the various postings on this site written by GH owners...thoughts like, "holy cow, will I need a cool-cell? What IS a cool cell? How much will this increase my electric bill?" Ouch!!

I have a great deal of respect for all of you with greenhouses - they are a lot of work!

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John, I don't have a greenhouse but I find your post very well written and extremely funny. Thanks for giving me a good laugh in front of my laptop!

Oh John, you hit the nail squarely on the head! I designed our greenhouse to look like our home. We live in an English -Tudor style home and so the GH needed to have the very steep roof and the same dark, purple brown boards lining the sides and edges. HA! After we got the darn thing built, Louis unpacked the shade cloth. WHAT!?! It now looks like a darned covered wagon. You can hardly see any of the decorative boards that we painted and painstakingly put on. Hehehe... Too funny.

Here are a couple of shots. The only place you can see the design details are on the front and the end with the Kool-Cell. The sides are covered by shade cloth and the top shade cloth hangs down on both sides and is anchored with wire cords!





Thanks for the laugh!

Cheers,
BD

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We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors....but they all exist very nicely in the same box. ...Hmmm? .

LoL. I have dreamed of a greenhouse, now I know I am not ready for it.

BD,
Your greenhouse looks beautiful, inside and out.

John, this is why MY greenhouse fantasy includes a foundation wall made of empty wine bottles set sideways in concrete. I don't have the land or the rest of the greenhouse yet, but I am working on those wine bottles!

(google "maisons des bouteilles" to see a whole village of such structures built by some dedicated French-Canadians in Prince Edward Island!)

Thanks for making me feel better. I am planning on building a greenhouse in my backyard and have been looking at kits, etc. I just decided that I can do it myself! Of course, my wife laughed at that. Your little bit just brought me back to earth again!!!

Pedro, I love your smile!

What are "HAF's"?... "Heavy A$$ Fans"?

Laughing ! mine looks like a turtle solar blanket on the roof plastic over the glass , that model won't need a spray on tan lolol .. Gin

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