Regulation Wrestling Rules
I have made up.... err , looked up slight error there the regulations for wrestling matches between weird orchid lovers. The key items are listed below
The regulation size for the ring is however big a play-pool full of mud can fit in Tim`s bar. The mud must be from Missouri - and thawed. 6 inches deep.
In the ring must be placed 3 small tables, each with a blooming orchid plant on it. One Catt, one Phal, and one Paph or Phrag. Any other orchid loving woman from the state of Missouri, who is over 29 can referee. Gee, Gin, did I mention your my favorite person on the forum?? Bribing of the judges is highly encouraged, and probably very effective....Must have judges from at least 2 and preferably 3 continents
The match is over when one of 2 conditions are met - - either one of the contestants condedes by saying:
My Favorite Plant is actually made of Silk!
OR
One of the contestants commits one of the fouls listed below.
1. Takes time to admire the form, color or fragrance of any of the the blooms
2. Takes time to admire the foliage of any of the orchids
3. Checks the plants potting media for moisture
4. Checks the roots of any plant for rot
5. Checks any of the plants for insects, virus, fungus other illnesses
6. Tries to read the name tag of any of The plants
The WINNER receives the title of Weirdest Orchid Addict, the opportunity to offer a 20 lb box of Parisian chocolates to the male attendee of her choice, and hot shower.
(all taxes, fees, licenses, angry boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, significant others, children, grandchildren or great-grandchildren are the sole responsibility of the winner)
The LOSER gets the fat equivalent of 20 lbs of Swiss chocolates, injected directly into her hips, has to clean up the bar and then will be hosed off with cold water.
Who`s up for judging??????